20 Years

April 1988.

George H. W. Bush and Michael Dukakis are in the middle of a primary race for the nominations of their respective parties. The Last Emperor wins nine Oscars, including Best Picture. Aloha Flight 243 makes a miraculous landing after its fuselage peels off in mid-flight with the loss of one life. The Soviet Union announces it will begin withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan.

And a nervous, skinny 22-year-old with a cold and a tiny, beautiful 23-year-old stand before God, their families, and friends in Huntsville, Alabama and promise their lives to each other.

He reads the following aloud:

So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!

Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants.

Don't drink too much wine. That cheapens your life. Drink the Spirit of God, huge draughts of him. Sing hymns instead of drinking songs! Sing songs from your heart to Christ. Sing praises over everything, any excuse for a song to God the Father in the name of our Master, Jesus Christ.

Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.

No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

Ephesians 5:16-33, The Message

As he reads, he emphasizes the latter portions about love and respect. And they are important. Central, even. But he will learn as the years go by that the verses he (for some reason) couldn't let go of, the ones that didn't quite seem connected to the wedding theme but he couldn't bring himself to exclude, were just as instructive:


Watch your step.
Use your head.
Make the most of every chance you get.
Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly.
Make sure you understand what the Master wants.

He wastes many hours and years ignoring those verses. Thankfully, they remind themselves to him before it is too late.